Planinatrix

Teri Roberts, who is a wonderful source for migraine info, posted an article today reminding everyone of the link between migraines and strokes.

http://www.healthcentral.com/migraine/c/123/44697/headaches-migraines?ic=6018

It is a scary thing to think about, but with my family history and my medical history, I have a higher chance of having a stroke before I ever even think about being 50 or older. Mom doesn’t turn 50 until next year and she already has spots of possible damage that show up on an MRI. Which makes it extremely important to find the right doctor and try to keep things as under control as possible.

Well, the biofeedback practice had mixed results today. Apparently I have developed test anxiety since starting grad school and last year began having migraines on test days. Which really doesn’t make any sense because grades have never been an issue for me. Tonight’s started just after I left work to go to class, while I was on the freeway of course.

I tried to focus my breathing and I was able to hold it back long enough for me to get to where I could retrieve my rescue medicine from my purse. I do think I was able to keep the intensity to a lower level, but for the test I had to have my brain be very active and couldn’t focus on relaxing. Thankfully the Zomig was starting to work by class time and I wasn’t overwhelmed.

So this is going to be on the agenda for the next appointment with the therapist. I need to learn how to balance my need to control the pain with the demand of test taking and having to be mentally active at the same time.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am terrible at relaxing. The first half of the CD that I am supposed to be practicing with is approximately 24 minutes long. The first time I used it I only made it 15 minutes.

So, I tried again last night. I had a hectic evening and thought it might be useful in helping me wind down for bed. I don’t know how well I really did with my breathing, but it definitely calmed down my brain and I was able to doze off much earlier than I usually do.

The first session went okay. It was mostly a “get to know you” for myself and the therapist. She was very nice with an open personality. She said that people with migraines tend to respond very well to biofeedback and she felt that she would be able to help me. I know that I don’t relax well and she reaffirmed that.

Part of the evaluation was her observing my body language. She commented that I tend to breath very shallowly and sit very tense even when I am trying not to. My “homework” for next week involves a CD with relaxation exercises that I am to practice with. The exercise I am to do is about 45 minutes and it is important that I make an effort to carve out that time to focus on this activity and myself.

That can be a hard thing to accept because life is so busy and I have so many things I am trying to do in a short amount of time. However, at the same time, if I don’t slow down and refocus I’m going to crash. There is a down side to being internally driven and stubborn. 🙂

We also discussed family history of this disease. It is hard to to admit this, but she said it is probably better for my health that I have already made an effort to limit the amount of time I spend in contact with Mom. She said that the mother-daughter dynamic when both have an illness can be negative. There is a tendency to feed and reinforce each other’s misery and that can make things worse. I have a mental image of 2 parasitic vampire things stuck together, loving and hating the ties that bind and at the same time afraid to break away. Unfortunately, Mom is my example of how I don’t want to live and it pushes me forward.